Tag Archives: dad

Homecoming…

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Four years ago on this day, I arrived back home to South Africa. One suitcase and 3 boxes later. I cried at Heathrow saying goodbye to friends and to the city which had become my home and love. Strange as this was the same picture roll back my life to December 2000, Durban International Airport. I left as an SA child and returned an adult from the UK.

My decision to come home was not my own but something my late dad wanted so as I booked that single ticket and packed my life into 3 boxes, never did I think, I would return back to SA on a permanent basis but I now know it was my Kismet. I returned just before my birthday month.

The first 6 months were awful. I was homesick for London, my friends and the life I had built there for myself. I felt a stranger in the land of my birth, everything had changed – friends were married, new places had popped up and most shockingly – my parents and gran had gotten older. I missed my carefree London days of using public transport and socializing.

Depression did start to set in. I lived for those London calls, messages and any reminder of my life in London. As an extrovert I found it very hard not having a social circle and not always on the go. So I started reading more, and spending time with family. I got to be home for the amazing World Cup and felt shivers run down my spine everytime I heard the National Anthem.

One of the major things living abroad does to you is that it makes you love the land of your birth fiercely. In 2011 dad was diagnosed with cancer and my life changed.

Looking back now, its very clear that I needed to be home. I started working short contract after contract and I worked with friends I studied with. Eventually my job began permanent.

In 2012 after Dad’s passing I started slowly expanding my social circle and entered the world of Social Media. In June 2012 I was approached by a company called My digital life to write blog posts. Me? Write? No way! But I tried and I loved it.

Six months down the line the site closed so I had no choice but to start my own blog and that was how https://spicegoddess.wordpress.com was born.

As I wrote, I found opportunities started arriving on my doorstep, social circle increased, Twitter activity increased as well as my Twitter following. It was here I discovered the Goddess within me who needed to pen her thoughts and share them through her digital addiction.

My humble blog has gained readership over time and often offered me a sanctuary to vent. I write because I love to, I share, I inspire and I create.

At the start of 2014 I promised myself I would blog atleast three times a week and I kept to my goal. Yes I am still in love with London and all my amazing memories BUT now I know there were reasons for me to return home.

Thank you to my readers, Twitter followers, Sue Levy and Rupasha who saw my passion for words and they nuture and inspire me to #Live2Inspire others, I thank you all with gratitude and love from every inch of my Soul.

I leave you with this Youtube Video … I’m coming home , I’m coming home tell the world I’m coming home my Kingdom awaits..

As I boarded that plane at Heathrow with tears in my eyes a heavy heart this song played in my head and I knew it was time to return home to my Kingdom as there was work for me to do…

Ciao xxx

Opportunities…

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Most of you would recall I recently wrote my first blog post for Women24.

Last week I decided to work on a different piece which went live on their site today. I was unaware the post was even up and only did so when I got 3 beautiful emails from 3 strangers who had read the post.

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The one that really touched was the lady who said I inspired her to mend her broken relationship with her dad. I felt very emotional reading those emails.

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Writing the post took lots of courage and strenght, as yet again I bared my soul to the world.Check out the post and let me know….

http://www.women24.com/Wellness/BodyAndSpirit/Dealing-with-the-death-of-my-father-20140319

ciao xxx

Superwoman…

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superwoman

Since my dad passed on two years ago I seem to have gained some SuperHero powers. It’s definately true what they say that we really don’t know where we summon the strength and courage when its the only choice we have.

I vividly recall dad’s funeral like it was yesterday and how I had to pull myself together and look after things – this meant I had to control my feelings and emotions .And that was where my Superwoman powers grew.

I now have a very protective trait for my immediate family and can’t tolerate others taking advantage of them since dad is no longer around.

Last night was once such example, I cried cause I was so angry, felt my pressure rise and literally wanted to punch this person in the face. It took me a while to calm down after a chat with a friend. Life has such a funny way of giving us our SuperHero powers especially when we are at our weakest, thinking its all over.

So yes I am a SuperHero aka Superwoman… I will protect my loved ones from the evil forces that are out there… I will breathe fire through my words… I will kill you with kindness and YES I am Superwoman taking over the world one day at a time.

Try to take me down and watch my wrath unleash… Be warned villans – this Superwoman means business..

Happy Birthday DAD

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CANDLES

Today would have been my Dad”s 64th birthday.My dad was an amazing man in more than one way though he often didnt show his love and affection we could feel it. My dad always made sure my brother and I always had the best and never needed anything.Birthdays are always special events in our family, so in keeping with that tonight we will have a family meal with all the treats dad loved and we will be feeding street people next weekend in dad”s memory.

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Happy Birthday to my one in a million dad, WE MISS YOU EVERYDAY.The last year has not been an easy year for us but we are getting there. I hope you are proud of all the achievements Nico and I have made especially this last year. I hope today you are partying like always with cake, ice cream and your whiskey.
LOVE YOU ALWAYS
XXX

Dreaded C WORD……

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Ever since my Dad died last January from Cancer, its a word that I dread and detest.

So when my mum returned from London after visiting her beloved youngest sister who turns 50 next week with the heartbreaking news that she has Cancer. I felt as if another part of me was dying. My aunt lost her daughter my 16year old cousin last year, so now having to deal with a blow like this is very devastating.

My aunt has ovarian cancer , she has already started her chemo and has started losing her hair. She has now taken what ever remains of her hair totally off:( I have decided to grow my hair and give it to her to be made into a wig as she refused one from the Hospital.

Every side you turn there are stories of Cancer and it doesnt have a particular race, age or sex.I hope and pray that they find a cure for this disease 😦

So dear readers keep my family in your prayers as emotionally we are heartbroken.

ciao
xxx

My Prince Charming……

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frog

When I was 5, I recieved my Frog teddy from dad. I fell in love with this teddy and soon he became my companion every night to the land of nod. Over the years Frog had to undergo some reconstructive surgery from mum as his stuffing was coming out but once fixed he was all brand new.

My brother often teased me, of my love affair with Frog. He said I thought that one morning, I would wake up and find my Frog has changed into Prince Charming. We all laughed at his theory but maybe in my childhood mine, I believed this fairytale.

Frogs are often depicted as ugly but with magical powers in many different cultures and myths. In European folklore frogs are depicted as sinister and associated with witches and potions.

So 30 years later, Frog is still alive, I no longer have him as my sleep companion and I am still single awaiting my Prince Charming. Hopefully the spell will be broken and I will meet him soon……

My year of loss 2012

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This year has been the most emotional year of my life . Losing my Dad on New Years morning was such a tremendous loss to my family , we are still coming to terms with this tragedy . On Sunday 1st July another heart breaking tragedy occured in my family with my 16year old cousin in London committing suicide . I feel as if another part of my heart has died. There are no words to describe the feeling of the heart . I found this quote which sums up what i feel ” Tears are the words the heart can not express”.

There are a million questions , a million memories and a million tears. I found this poem in a card someone had sent to us during Dad’s funeral and it seemed very appropriate so i thought i would share it .

Letter from HEAVEN:

To my dearest Family , Somethings I would like to say , but firstly I have to say I have arrived safely. I am writing this from Heaven, here where I dwell with God above. Here there is no more tears just eternal love.Please done be unhappy cause I am out of sight, remember I am with you morning , noon and night.On the day I had to leave this earth , God picked me up and hugged me said ” I welcome you ,it is good to have you back yu were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family they will be here later on. I needed you badly you are part of my plan.”

Dont be afraid to cry it is good to relieve the pain ,remember there can be no flowers without the rain.There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb.When you are walking down the street and you got me on your mind, I am walking in your footsteps only half a step behind you AND when its time for you to go from your body to be free REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT GOING ………YOU ARE COMING TO ME ……. REST IN PEACE MY DARLING DIAMOND PRIYANKA.LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER……”The HEART that has truly LOVED never FORGETS ”